So I just arrived in Los Angeles this afternoon, where I need to spend the next two weeks. I am developing a sitcom with Warner Brothers this year, which I'm also supposed to star in. Yeah, right. I've been through this cycle a couple of times. The odds of success are not very good. My goal this year has been to at least get to shoot a pilot. That would really be something. Over the last couple of weeks, though, I've decided to try and think more positively. Fuck the odds. Fuck shooting a pilot. I've decided that I'm going to get a show on the air and that it's going to be good and stay on the air. I would usually think that this is too dangerous a thing to write in a blog, but hey, fuck that too. This could be my year. Like I said, I have been down this road before. But I was younger and I don't think I ever took advantage of the opportunity. My hope is that I've learned a lot and grown up enough (partly due to being a father) to not throw road blocks in my own path and to just do what I know I can do... We'll see.

So, I'm here for two weeks, to work with my new writing partners for one week and then to pitch the show (whatever that is going to be) with them, to all the Networks. I just arrived this afternoon and checked into my hotel. Which brings me to the red sox...

I don't know if you caught wind of anything from the last game on Saturday but it was insane. The game was in Boston, the yankees were winning by a run and Pedro Martinez (2nd greatest pitcher
boston ever had) hit Kareem Garcia of the Yankees with a pitch. Kareem responded by sliding hard into second, trying to hurt a red sox player. Things got really ugly and both teams started shouting at each other. In the next inning, Roger Clemens (the greatest pitcher boston ever had, now
playing for the yankees) seemed to throw the ball high at Manny Ramirez of the
REd Sox who inexplicably came running after him yelling "Fuck you!" with his bat in his
hands. Fenway park was going crazy. The whole place was chanting "Yankees suck! Yankees suck!" as the benches cleared in a team vs team fight. Don Zimmer, the 72 year old Bench coach for the Yankees (who was the manager of the red sox when I was a kid) charged at Pedro Martinez.
Pedro grabbed this very old man (zimmer) by the head and threw him to the ground. It was so shocking. Then there was Andy Pettite holding Zimmer's head, looking like he's going to cry and saying "What happened Zim? What happened?!" It was all so dramatic and crazy.

But what I really saw was fucking typical Boston behavior. I sat there watching that game, resenting that... thing about Boston that I carry way inside me till this day, that... suspicion of winning. It was so crazy because they were'nt even down a game yet. But they couldn't take the pressure so they just blew it. (of course they went on to lose the game because they had just put out too many bad vibes to win). It just reminded me of everything everyone including me ever does who comes from there. They were not losing by much, and the series is tied one game a piece, but they just couldn't hang on. They imploded. And there were the fans, cheering them on, because they preffer to puff out their chests and lose because
"fuck the yankees, that's why!" Exactly like Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting a movie I really hate. You know when he descirbes his father giving him a choice between getting hit with a wrench or a belt and he chooses the wrench because "Fuck him, that's why." . I'm finally starting to understand that stupid line in that stupid movie.

So, if you're still reading all this baseball shit, that brings us to tonight. The game was very tight and the red sox had a chance to even things up. I decided to go running. I went down to the health club and
ran on the treadmill, while watching the game on TV. The red sox hit a couple of home runs and it looked like they might win it. I had run about four miles by the time it was the eighth inning and I was about to stop, when I got this crazy idea in my head that, if I stop, then Boston will give up again, with victory in sight, like they always do. AND that I will also lose steam just when I need it and blow this chance that is right in front of me, to have my own show.I kept running. My thighs were killing me and my chest was heaving but I just tried to get used to
the pace and kept going. The red sox shut down the Yankees in the eighth inning, and I got excited and started to run faster. But then the nineth inning took a long time and I got tired, and i thought "this is fucking stupid. My running on a treadmill in LA has nothing to do with the outcome of this game or my career." So I slowed back down to a breathable pace. Just then, the Yankees hit a home run, coming within one run of tying the game. Uh-oh. By that time, i had run five whole miles. But I upped the speed from 6 MPH to 8 MPH which is faster than I ever run. I ran my ass off, sweat pouring down my stupid face as Scott Williamson of the Red Sox struck out one, two then... THREE batters to win the game!! I
finally slowed down, having run 5.3 miles in 52 minutes. Then I sat in the hottub for a while and revelled in my victory. What a fag.Anyway, I'm getting ready to go out now, to do a set at the comedy store
and then tomorrow is my first day at Warner Brother's.