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05/31/04

A Campsite in Colorado

I started today feeling really depressed. The whole tornado scare really screwed me up. It put me way behind and staying in the motel kind of snapped me out of my camping groove. I started to feel like the trip was basically over and it was time for me to just plow through the last 1500 miles home, just driving, sleeping in Super 8s and eating Macdonalds.

I drove through central/west Kansas, not stopping till I'd gone 200 miles. When we stopped, we just got gas, water and I let the dog stretch her legs as I ate a can of sardines. The bread I had bought in New York was now stale and moldy. So I just ate the sardiines out of a can with my "hobo kinife" and also ate a can of hearts of palm. As I ate, Loona walked around the field I was standing in. I was getting reception on the cell, so I called my wife. she told me that hearts of palm are really bad for you. I can't believe that. She started to explain why when Loona took off like a shot after a rabbit. I had to hang up and chase her down.

Another hundred miles later, we stopped again. Totally uneventful. I barely took any pictures and they all looked like any other pictures I've taken of her. Yep. the trip seemed to be over.

At about 9pm, I drove into Denver. I went into a Barnes and Nobles to buy some audio books for the rest of the drive which is about 1,000 miles to LA. I got a compliation of recordings of the "THe Shadow" radio program and a book about why white people ruin everythign for everyone else. I don't remember the title. I resolved to drive another 200 miles before turning in for the night.

The Shadow recordings are great. The stories are so simple and silly and the acting is way over the top but it's beautiful and people really knew how to use their voices then. No one cares anymore in movies or TV how their voice sounds. Actors used to really use it like an instrument. They paid attention to their tone and resonance. Nowadays, because actors want to always seem natural, they don't perform their work so much anymore. Certainly not the way Orson Wells did on the Shadow, and all the other actors. You could almost enjoy the show without understanding the language, just listening to their words. It's also funny to hear them do all the exposition that is neccicary on the radio. "I see you're holding a gun there."

While in Denver, I also stopped at a Targety store and bought something I have seen in wide use in the camp sites and have coveted. A propane lantern. These things are incredibly useful. Thusfar, my only source of light while pitching tents in the rain was a shitty flashlight that I bought at Walmart. Target had the propane lanterns for 15 dollars. I bought one and got so excitted at the prospect of using it that it inspired me to decide right there in aisle 6 of the Target that tonight I would be camping once again. This trip was not over!

I listened to the Shadow as I drove up the windy road out of Denver, into the mountains. I quickly realized there was no way I was going to drive 200 or even 100. I started checking exit signs for that camping triangle. The Interstate went up and up and up and then down and down and corkscrewed all around and everywhere you looked you were surrounded by white capped mountain peaks. This was a little eerie.

I finally spotted an exit with the camping sign and got off the highway. But after the exit ramp, there were no more camping signs. There was nothing. Just darkness. I drove down a dark narrow road till I saw a sign that said "Easter Seal Camp." NOt having a brain at all, I thought "Oh, there's a campsite." and followed that sign to a big camp in the mountains. The entrance to the Easter SEal camp had a sign that said "Main Lodge" So I figured that to be where to get a camp permit. I drove down their dirt road and started to see signs that read "Speed Limit 10. Wheelchairs on path" Hmm.......... Oooooooooh. Easter seals! Ohhhhh.. this is not the place. By the time I brilliantly figured that out, I had reached a big cabin with large windows that looked into one large brightly lit room full of people all sitting around listening to one guy. They were all smiling and most of them were in wheelchairs. There was definitely some sort of event going on here. The young guy was making important announcements and everyone was excited. When my headlights hit their windows, everyone turned and looked at me. Clearly, they were waiting for someone and expected that I was them. The young guy quickly got up and came out to greet me. He saw ME and was puzzled. I said "Hi. I'm lost." and immediately discovered that I'd encountered the nicest gguy in the world. He cheerfully gave me careful directions to two different campsites and wished me luck. I felt so embarrassed at my awkward mistake, but then I stopped and realized that I had no reason to feel that way. Why am I thinking "OH god. Those people are in wheelchairs. And I"m SO NOT in a wheelchair! And I came to their place and was here for a second. Oh god, what a disaster!"

The directions the young guy gave me led me up a mountain pass that was terrifyingly verticle. I kept climbing up and up, the Zetec engine of the Focus growling all the way, the dog confused by the lurching of the vehicle. I reached a campsite and pulled in but it was sold out. The campsite host told me to keep going up to another one. SO I continued on up the mountains. I was getting really really high up there and it was freaking me out. It was too dark to see the drops at the sides of the road but what I could see was that beyone each guard-rail was the tops of trees. So, yeah. I as up there. It went on and on for about twenty mintues. In yet another testament to my idiocy, I also realized that I was nearly out of gas. I also realized that it was fucking snowing on my windshield and that I was so high up that the white peaks I'd been looking up at while leaving denver were now at eye level. Again I started talking to myself in the car. "Shit shit shit. I don't know man. What are you doing?"

I got to the campsite that the other guy told me about and it was closed. Now what? I didn 't think I had enough gas to get anywhere where I'd seen gas. So I just continued. Finally, I reached a campsite with lots of spaces and a bike trail! The campsite host was very nice even though I woke him to buy firewood. I started to cheer up. Then I drove to my site, turned off the engine and the lights and realized "ya, jesus. It's dark. It's totally dark. Ooh." Then I opened the door. "It's cold too. And there's no people anywhere. And the trees are tall and the woods are deep and ancient. This is where Jeramiah Johnson used to sneak up on bounty hunters and slit their throats while they cooked their beans. THis is where bears live. This is NOT a mowed grass campsite in Pennsylvania with wifi and running water. AND it's cold and I'm not at all equipped for cold weather. But where are you going to go?

Fear crept into me and I started to imagine freezing to death or falling into a bad thing and dying and some park rangers finding me and the next day in a local paper people are writing mean letters about how people like me are irrisponsible to camp without knowing what they're doing. Then I remembered "Ah! The propane lantern!" I was saved. I ripped open the box and assembled it. But as I screwed it onto the small propane tank, it hissed loudly, then popped and a big nut that goes in the right side of the spigot popped off completely, leaving a hole in the side of the tank that was now loudly spewing propane gas all over my face. I quickly started unscrewing it while trying not to breathe propane and realizing that this lamp was self-igniting so if the lighter went off somehow I was going have a gas fire in my face in seconds. I kept unscrewing saying "Hurry, but don't worry." And finally the two pieces came apart. That piece of shit lantern! The most important part of it was made of plastic and it cracked right off at the first gas pressure it ever felt! I looked at where the piece used to be and there was a sticker there that said "Inspected by 37" And I thought "Fuck you, 37. You suck." The anger, though, was good. It cured my fear. I went about raising my tent with the old shitty flashlight like always. It went up much faster this time. Oh, and I lit a big fire! My first campfire. It lit up my site and kept me warm as I set up camp. Loona kept scaring the shit out of me by disappearing into the woods so I put her in the car while I finished. Then we went for a short walk, I cooked myself a can of chicken soup, fed Loona and went to bed.

Last night was the coldest night I have spent on the earth. I could do nothing to get warm in my shitty sleeping bag. I kept putting on more layers but my feet, back and face were horribly damp and chilly. I don't remember ever falling into a deep sleep, but this morning I don't feel so bad. I woke up and took a bike ride down the bike path, through the mountains. Amazing. Loona and I had breakfast by our morning fire. WE are now going to go for a good long walk and maybe we'll climb some mountains. IT's only 8:25 so I actually have a shot at starting outt at a decent hour this morning.

 

thanks for reading.

 

LCK

 

Well, I'm really camping now. No screwing around. I'm in the wilderness. The trees are tall, it is pitch dark and I can hear